I know it has been a LONG time since I wrote last. I have a couple unfinished posts, an unfinished new website, and all sorts of other things to share with you. But for now, I need to share that I can't cry.
Seems like a dream maybe for some of you. And it was a dream of mine I think when I was younger. I was always crying. And always shouldn't have been. Or at least that's the message I got from others. Especially the lovely "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about." I had no right to cry, no reason. And at some point I turned off the tears. I don't remember when. If it happened when I started taking depression medication when I was 11, or when I was a teenager and had to be grown up, or when I was an adult (because adults never cry). But somewhere along there a dam was built behind my eyes, and the tears rarely leak through anymore.
And it's not the wonderful thing I thought it would be.
Seems like a dream maybe for some of you. And it was a dream of mine I think when I was younger. I was always crying. And always shouldn't have been. Or at least that's the message I got from others. Especially the lovely "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about." I had no right to cry, no reason. And at some point I turned off the tears. I don't remember when. If it happened when I started taking depression medication when I was 11, or when I was a teenager and had to be grown up, or when I was an adult (because adults never cry). But somewhere along there a dam was built behind my eyes, and the tears rarely leak through anymore.
And it's not the wonderful thing I thought it would be.
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