This year was special for a couple reasons, but one of the big ones is that this year I got to go all by myself. No one whined at me about how hot it was (which is good because it was in the 90s), no one complained that it was too far to walk, no one said they were soooooo tired and do we have to look at more art and please mama, stop talking to people!!! It was glorious! I walked slowly, looked deliberately, talked to artists about their art, was inspired, and really soaked in the feeling. I love that feeling. I also collected a lot of business cards!
It was also special because my friend Adrianne has a booth this year! I didn't think to take a picture of her in her booth, but you can check her out right by COSI if you happen to go tomorrow, or visit her at her website- http://www.adriannegeorge.com/ . That definitely created a crack in the "extremely unlikely" bubble around that aforementioned dream! It was fun visiting her beautiful booth full of amazing pottery and chatting even in the sweltering heat. I'm so excited for her and hope this weekend goes really well!
And lastly it was special because my focus in 2016 has been about really claiming the word artist as my own. Not keeping it hidden except for very rare moments when I might apologetically slide it out but be ready to snatch it back quickly if the other person doesn't approve or agree. Not blowing around me like a kite that I'm trying to ignore. Not getting muddy and wet and worn in a puddle in front of me while I wait for someone else to pick it up and hand it to me and say, "Here, this is yours".
This year I am working towards stepping into it fully, without a care as to if other people think I deserve it or not. To walk around and live my life with it in my bones. To let it pour out of my pores in rainbow hues and become my clothing and presence in the world, and then let it color my environment around me and leave a record of my steps without me worrying that it's impetuous of me and how dare I and who do I think I am anyway?
I have been noticing where I have been limiting myself, where I have been held back by beliefs that told me that being an artist was selfish, lazy, a surefire way to be poor, something I can never be without going to art school first, crazy, irresponsible, etc, etc, etc. I have been consciously working through them and creating new beliefs about how it IS possible, okay, and good to be an artist. It is possible, okay, and good to be exactly who I have always been but have tried to run away and hide from.
Wandering around the Arts Festival today felt like immersing myself in the positive energy of those new beliefs. It felt like I was more allowing and a part of that community that I have ever been. It felt like magic. And I am so grateful!