As I was reading my facebook newsfeed the other night, I read a few headlines a friend had posted about extreme child neglect/abuse and I felt the familiar gnawing away at the center of my chest/the bottom of my heart. Oh my heart ached for those children, my mind went to what they must have felt, how much pain they must have been in. And as the night went on, it continued to "eat away at me". Ooh, huh. *Ding Ding Ding* When I allow something I have no control over to eat at me like that, I'm doing it again. Creating, inviting in, feeding my own parasites.
My pondering around parasites has continued. ;) I have given our cats the proper medicine, taken measures to control the infestation, but still there are fleas and worms. And when that happens, when I have taken the "Appropriate action" but the problem continues, I know that there is more for me to get out of the situation, it has something more to tell me, part of me still needs the situation to continue to bring about shifting and releasing and change. (Kinda *Darn*! 'cause I thought I had it all figured out, right? ;) )
As I was reading my facebook newsfeed the other night, I read a few headlines a friend had posted about extreme child neglect/abuse and I felt the familiar gnawing away at the center of my chest/the bottom of my heart. Oh my heart ached for those children, my mind went to what they must have felt, how much pain they must have been in. And as the night went on, it continued to "eat away at me". Ooh, huh. *Ding Ding Ding* When I allow something I have no control over to eat at me like that, I'm doing it again. Creating, inviting in, feeding my own parasites.
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This is part of something I posted on a yahoo group a bit ago, and it's feeling like it needs to be shared here too. :)
I don't know if it helps you, but it helps me to know that I am exactly where I should be right now, even if that "where I am" is a place of intense pain. There is a lot of shifting going on in the world right now, lots of releasing, lots of REALLY REALLY deep "stuff" coming up. It's not that there is anything wrong with you that is causing you to feel this way, it's just that right now is the perfect time for you to experience it. A few weeks ago I was feeling such huge, vast guilt, for days on end. I was doing a pretty good job of feeling my way through it, actually, but it got to be so intense that I was led to journaling, and then tapping. The the last paragraph that I wrote was- "I am freaking out about being "responsible", with "responsible" meaning they're completely dependent on me and any bad that happens to them is my fault and I need to be punished for it. I am terrified of being responsible but at the same time feel like I completely am. *I am responsible for all of the pain and suffering in the world, and because of the horrible things I've caused, I no longer matter or are worthy of anything.* Hmm, think I need to sit/tap on that one." |
My name is Kathryn Long
I am sensitive introvert who is recovering my artistic side and uncovering and finding the courage to be the person I came here to be. I firmly believe that our differences make us stronger, our similarities bring us together, and our love connects us into one big messy, complicated, amazing family! Archives
July 2016
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