Hiding Behind My Kids

I've noticed how I do this recently. The big lightbulb moment came when I was thinking how we should get involved in our community more, and the idea of delivering Meals on Wheels popped into my head. My kids LOVE to talk, and have no idea that they shouldn't be friends with adults, so I thought it could be right up their alley. Lonely older person + cute kids who love to talk + food delivery= fun for everyone and brownie points for "doing good", right? Heh. It hit me that *I* was nowhere in the equation besides driving said children and food, and prepping it once we got to the house, if it needed to be. Deep deep down, I noticed a glimmer of fear about talking to people that we would be "helping". Afraid of interacting on a meaningful level, of truly looking them in the eye and "seeing" them. That's what my kids would be there for, to shield me from having to truly "be there" with the other person. Ouch.

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