So as I have been exploring the feeling that I've been fighting life, more feelings have been coming up, more "AHA!"s. The biggest lately is how I have been trying so hard NOT to live my own life. For, like, my whole life.

I love Byron Katie. I especially love listening to her do The Work with other people. I just love her voice, her compassion, her love towards these people as they dig and examine. This is one of my favorites.

I've been feeling like I've been fighting life lately- just wanting to resist and stay where I am and push life away. Not suprisingly, there isn't a whole lot that gets done when that happens! Not just physical stuff, even real listening and acknowledging where I am/what is going on both inside and outside of me. I just get to a place where I freeze and want everything to stop.

Yesterday I tried to explore that, to get into the frozen fightingness. I was feeling overwhelmed about this thing that I *want* to do but there is fear about it- part of me wants to jump in and do it and another part of me is very afraid of the unknown and just wants things to stay the same. I wasn't sure where to go. And I heard "What feels good about this? Follow that." And woosh, some of the fear left. As I write this I can feel some of the resistance still, but I plan on following that good feeling and see where we go. Hopefully we'll have pictures to share of what feels good about the situation in the future. :) As long as making the supplies order feels good too!