**** trigger warning- mentions sexual abuse ****
I have been struggling, for awhile now, going deeper into this world called depression again. Last fall I looked around and said "Yup, I'm here again. Depression." At that time it wasn't very bad, I just recognized it. I have bounced in and out of it since, but find myself in it more than out of it lately. Really it's the first time I've been back here since I worked through it and got out of it 8 years ago. I've questioned why I'm here again, and I've come to understand that part of it is the same reason that surfaced when I wrote Why I Can't Cry right around this time last year. I have to communicate it to fully move through it. I think there are some other reasons as well, but that is a big one.
So, I will be writing a series of posts about my depression journey where I talk about my experience of depression earlier in my life and how that relates to my experience now. I hope it both helps me find my way out again and helps bring peace and light and understanding to others on their own journeys. <3
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I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 4 or 5. My mom said I just started to physically attack her and she didn't know why and that I was out of control. There had been some stress at that point- my dad had almost died (I vividly remember being sneaked into the hospital to visit him). My parents were having marital issues. Other than that, no one ever really gave me a reason why it happened. I was put in therapy. I'm pretty sure it was play therapy because I remember a doll house and some other toys. I think I found it a pleasant place, but I don't know how much I opened up to them. I guess the therapy helped make my depression manageable, or they just weren't ready to take the plunge into medication yet. But that was my mysterious, hazy move into this world called depression.
So, I will be writing a series of posts about my depression journey where I talk about my experience of depression earlier in my life and how that relates to my experience now. I hope it both helps me find my way out again and helps bring peace and light and understanding to others on their own journeys. <3
************************
I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 4 or 5. My mom said I just started to physically attack her and she didn't know why and that I was out of control. There had been some stress at that point- my dad had almost died (I vividly remember being sneaked into the hospital to visit him). My parents were having marital issues. Other than that, no one ever really gave me a reason why it happened. I was put in therapy. I'm pretty sure it was play therapy because I remember a doll house and some other toys. I think I found it a pleasant place, but I don't know how much I opened up to them. I guess the therapy helped make my depression manageable, or they just weren't ready to take the plunge into medication yet. But that was my mysterious, hazy move into this world called depression.
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