First there was creating a painting and donating it to a wonderful preschool for a silent auction.
And then later that day I realized I had one day to mail in an entry form for an art show that I wanted to enter. I had also written at the beginning of the year that I wanted to enter an art show I had never entered before (bringing my total to an enormous *2* different art shows entered as an adult) and this was it. I had wanted to complete a new piece just for this show, but realized that the entry form wanted both the name of the piece and the dimensions, so I had to use something I already had completed and framed. I chose one photo and one mixed media piece that I had entered in the other show last year. I decided I could work on the mixed media piece some more because I wasn't completely happy with it, and in that way I would have at least one semi new thing to enter. But again, I reminded myself that the point wasn't really to have something amazing in the show. The point was just to enter it in the first place. Because I know myself, and even the act of entering something unknown can be enough to trigger a ton of anxiety and hand a megaphone to those darn voices in my head. I wasn't too worried because I thought I had worked though my art show jitters when I had entered that other show for the first time two years ago. I'd had a huge meltdown (when I got home) after the artist's reception for that. Why on Earth had I thought I was good enough to enter? Everyone knows just looking at my pieces I have no right to be there! Everyone is thinking horribly of me! And on and on. Last year when I entered the same show it had been SO much easier. I felt much more confident. Sure, my art wasn't like most of what was there, but I felt sure that it would touch at least one person and that was enough. So I thought there might be a small increase in pre-show anxiety but I wasn't too worried about it.
So I got to work on the mixed media piece. It had been an Intuitive Message Painting (the first mixed media one) so I pulled out the message that had come with it to try to open myself to further instructions for it. This was the message-