In my part of the world there is a very wind-intense storm blowing through right now. Often when there is strong wind I can feel energy being kicked up just like debris when a storm front moves in. Right now it feels like an energetic dust storm, where you can’t see anything but darkness and are continually pelted with sharp painful jabs trying to exfoliate your tender skin.
I bought into the feelings yesterday. Assumed they were my own. Assumed they meant we had big problems surfacing and things were on the verge of breaking. The amount of arguments and unpleasantness thrown back and forth was much more intense than we have experienced at our house in quite awhile. The feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, anxiety, frustration, and apathy kept popping up over and over and over. We’d think we had smoothed things out and then they would rear their ugly heads again and it would feel like we were starting all over. Crashing. I was starting to wonder if it was even worth trying at all. Trying ANYTHING. It all just seems to fall apart and never works out. Why even bother?
I felt like just curling up in a miserable ball this morning and not doing anything. Especially not taking care of myself. And then I expanded my feelers a little. Was this an isolated incident just here at my house, or is this feeling much bigger than us? Oh, it is MUCH bigger than us! It’s the difference between the water main breaking at one house and flooding everything inside, and a tidal wave rushing in and submerging an entire area. We’re definitely being swept up in a tidal wave right now.
So why does this matter? If it’s an isolated incident between two people or a group of people, what is generally most helpful is acting to work through the problem, come up with solutions, and develop a plan for moving forward. However, when it is an energetic tidal wave the most helpful things involve acknowledging what is coming up and letting it go, finding your center, trusting that it will move through in its own time and just focusing on riding the wave without drowning. And especially, especially not taking it personally.
I felt like just curling up in a miserable ball this morning and not doing anything. Especially not taking care of myself. And then I expanded my feelers a little. Was this an isolated incident just here at my house, or is this feeling much bigger than us? Oh, it is MUCH bigger than us! It’s the difference between the water main breaking at one house and flooding everything inside, and a tidal wave rushing in and submerging an entire area. We’re definitely being swept up in a tidal wave right now.
So why does this matter? If it’s an isolated incident between two people or a group of people, what is generally most helpful is acting to work through the problem, come up with solutions, and develop a plan for moving forward. However, when it is an energetic tidal wave the most helpful things involve acknowledging what is coming up and letting it go, finding your center, trusting that it will move through in its own time and just focusing on riding the wave without drowning. And especially, especially not taking it personally.
I went and took an epsom salt bath. That definitely helped. As has plenty of ho'oponopono when all of those feelings come up directed at certain people. Tapping helped. Journaling and letting EVERYTHING out on the page helped immensely. Not holding anything back and not taking what comes out onto the page personally. Letting it through without judgement and with an "Oh, isn't that interesting?" kind of attitude.
Moving your body can help. Meditation. Creative expression. Listening to and singing along with music that matches the feeling moving through. I really love standing out in the wind and feeling its power push and pull and rush past me. I give anything inside me that's ready to leave permission to go and feel the woosh as things depart. Even something as simple as noticing an uncomfortable situation that pops up and saying "I see you _____ (family discord, embarrassing situation, fury-filled experience). Thank you for showing yourself to me. You are free to return back to love now." and opening yourself for the release.
Moving your body can help. Meditation. Creative expression. Listening to and singing along with music that matches the feeling moving through. I really love standing out in the wind and feeling its power push and pull and rush past me. I give anything inside me that's ready to leave permission to go and feel the woosh as things depart. Even something as simple as noticing an uncomfortable situation that pops up and saying "I see you _____ (family discord, embarrassing situation, fury-filled experience). Thank you for showing yourself to me. You are free to return back to love now." and opening yourself for the release.
I'm still feeling the intense feelings, but I'm able to more easily detach from them. There is a more lighthearted experience of them now. They don't mean it's not worth it to try or that we're headed for a huge crash and burn. They're coming up to be seen and released. So they can have freedom and I have more room for what's coming next. The indescribably awesome and the murky mucky stuff. It's all there. But for now, some murky mucky stuff is being blown away with this powerful wind so I have a larger capacity to experience the light shining through. And that helps me be patient and stay centered as all of this unpleasantness is flying around. The darkness will lift and the light will appear again. And it will show me things that I couldn't see before because they were covered by what is being blown away. Maybe there will be fields of beauty that I had no idea existed before. Who knows. But I'm standing in the middle of this storm, releasing the best I can, knowing that it will be worth it. And even allowing myself to enjoy the tidal wave from time to time.
It's coming!
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