I've felt a bit stuck recently, in the slogging through mud type of way. The kind where you can SEE the beauty up ahead but you just can't get there yet because each step takes concentration since the sticky ooze has you nearly up to your knees. Maybe you can even FEEL the beauty, with the delicious warm air and amazing scents swirling around the top half of you while you feel the cold and pressure of the muck below at the same time. Those moments that can be so frustrating because the amazingness is RIGHT THERE and yet. . . and yet every time you try to fly into it your top half gets yanked back down because right now you're HERE. Which isn't completely beautiful and light. Yet. The potential is there, but it isn't found by running away. It is found by moving through.
I was going through my drawer of paintings the other day. The place where they stay after they are done and they haven't found their next place to be yet. And I came upon this, which I think I did a year or so ago.
I was going through my drawer of paintings the other day. The place where they stay after they are done and they haven't found their next place to be yet. And I came upon this, which I think I did a year or so ago.
I remembered it had a message that came with it so I went looking for it and when I read it I knew that it was perfectly what I needed to see and read. And I felt the nudge to make a meditation video for it. Making a video to put on this site was one of those things I wrote at the beginning of the year that I wanted to do before the calendar got back to January again. And the things holding me back from doing that did indeed seem to be some of the old stuff the message spoke of, so I allowed the words of the message to move me and help me get to a place without the old ties. I took a deep breath and I learned some things and it came together. Not perfectly, but it did. And so I am sharing it with you in its imperfect glory trusting that I am always learning and that rarely does the support we receive on our journeys need to be absolutely perfect.
In case you are not a video person, here is the message in written form:
How can I gently and easily allow this really old and intense stuff to move through me and out of me, and allow it to heal me and return me to love? What will best support me while I do this?
Rest. Rest will best support you. Gentle, holding gently, caressing, nesting type rest. Just allow your body to relax, don't fight it, don't push it. Let your body do its work- it is clearing and renewing and really very, very busy even though it appears that you are doing nothing. You are never doing nothing. Allow your body to be limp, to let go of all tension, all fighting, all holding and resisting. Just allow it all to move through. As if you were a mountain range or rainforest- you are the host, you are the location. You are holding the space necessary for this to occur. Honor that. It is amazing and essential. You are glowing with activity and illumination. Allow it to take its course fully. Let it tell you when it is done.
While you are in this limp allowing state, see the rivers flowing through you. See that they are working to clean and feed, and allow those things holding onto the banks to be swept away. Allow islands to crumble if that is what is happening. Allow old things to disappear and new things to be created. Watch in wonder as this amazing process takes place within you. But don't try to keep it within you, allow your boundaries to melt and allow the rivers to run out of your mountain range, out of your rainforest. And allow fresh cool rain and new rivers to flow from outside of your awareness. Allow yourself to become connected to more than what you can see and feel. Allow yourself to be supported and nourished and renewed by that rain and those new rivers. See the illuminated clarity they bring to your being. Allow this new iridescent water to replace the old murky water that was running through your rivers before. Allow it to renew you. Watch what this new water does to your plants along the bank, to the trees and bushes farther in, to the wildlife, to the structure of you yourself. So interesting and amazing! See it with curiosity and wonder. Relax into the newness. Allow it to penetrate your very depths. Ahhhhh. Ease and grace, ease and grace. Everything flows, everything is renewed. And at your core a light begins to shine brighter. Maybe you've never noticed it before, maybe you've been nurturing it for awhile. Allow that illuminated, iridescent water to flow in and around. To wash away the layers of dirt and grime and shame and hurt surrounding it. Allow it to get bigger and bigger and bigger until you can't help but breathe in more deeply than you ever have before. Allow that light to fill you totally and completely. Such gratitude, such love. Such a gentle, nurturing force fully within you. Always and always. Breathe deep again. Allow it to shine on everything, absolutely everything. Now allow those everythings to be fully encompassed into the light, to become part of it. Rest here. Feel it fully. And it is so. Allow yourself to move forth like this, your body fully ablaze in loving light, completely renewed and refreshed. And when you find yourself struggling with the old again, which will happen because everything that is now new will later be old, come back without judgement and allow yourself to be renewed again. Namaste. And so it is.
How can I gently and easily allow this really old and intense stuff to move through me and out of me, and allow it to heal me and return me to love? What will best support me while I do this?
Rest. Rest will best support you. Gentle, holding gently, caressing, nesting type rest. Just allow your body to relax, don't fight it, don't push it. Let your body do its work- it is clearing and renewing and really very, very busy even though it appears that you are doing nothing. You are never doing nothing. Allow your body to be limp, to let go of all tension, all fighting, all holding and resisting. Just allow it all to move through. As if you were a mountain range or rainforest- you are the host, you are the location. You are holding the space necessary for this to occur. Honor that. It is amazing and essential. You are glowing with activity and illumination. Allow it to take its course fully. Let it tell you when it is done.
While you are in this limp allowing state, see the rivers flowing through you. See that they are working to clean and feed, and allow those things holding onto the banks to be swept away. Allow islands to crumble if that is what is happening. Allow old things to disappear and new things to be created. Watch in wonder as this amazing process takes place within you. But don't try to keep it within you, allow your boundaries to melt and allow the rivers to run out of your mountain range, out of your rainforest. And allow fresh cool rain and new rivers to flow from outside of your awareness. Allow yourself to become connected to more than what you can see and feel. Allow yourself to be supported and nourished and renewed by that rain and those new rivers. See the illuminated clarity they bring to your being. Allow this new iridescent water to replace the old murky water that was running through your rivers before. Allow it to renew you. Watch what this new water does to your plants along the bank, to the trees and bushes farther in, to the wildlife, to the structure of you yourself. So interesting and amazing! See it with curiosity and wonder. Relax into the newness. Allow it to penetrate your very depths. Ahhhhh. Ease and grace, ease and grace. Everything flows, everything is renewed. And at your core a light begins to shine brighter. Maybe you've never noticed it before, maybe you've been nurturing it for awhile. Allow that illuminated, iridescent water to flow in and around. To wash away the layers of dirt and grime and shame and hurt surrounding it. Allow it to get bigger and bigger and bigger until you can't help but breathe in more deeply than you ever have before. Allow that light to fill you totally and completely. Such gratitude, such love. Such a gentle, nurturing force fully within you. Always and always. Breathe deep again. Allow it to shine on everything, absolutely everything. Now allow those everythings to be fully encompassed into the light, to become part of it. Rest here. Feel it fully. And it is so. Allow yourself to move forth like this, your body fully ablaze in loving light, completely renewed and refreshed. And when you find yourself struggling with the old again, which will happen because everything that is now new will later be old, come back without judgement and allow yourself to be renewed again. Namaste. And so it is.
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Also, just in case you know where the painting's next home is meant to be, it is available here .
Also, just in case you know where the painting's next home is meant to be, it is available here .
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